I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my sisters under your porch take her home
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
