He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
