chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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