Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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