oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
