Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Someone signed my nipple.
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