she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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