you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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