We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
