I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
