the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
