STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
