Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
