counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize