the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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