I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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