did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
