I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
