Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
