So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
