people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize