Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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