i think i have herpe
just one?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
