i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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