i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
we're so committed to being not committed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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