everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
