why didn't you poke me back
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
