good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you had me at cake vodka
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
