so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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