Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
