Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
