I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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