In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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