Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
whose parrot is this?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
