I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
