i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize