yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
