dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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