all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
