I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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