dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
