google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize