i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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