Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
