dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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