Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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