SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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