Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize