she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
