Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
