based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
