He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize