Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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