so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
