yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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