just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
