Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
operation have a gay friend backfired
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
