There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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