Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
