At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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