vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
