Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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