I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
