So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize