I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
