his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
