In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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