I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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