Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
