Do you still have your period?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
not ubering you a puppy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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