i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
