Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
