youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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