Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
