YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
