I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
