Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
