It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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