You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
