He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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