I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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