Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
