I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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