i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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